so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
