Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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