I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
