hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
