I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
