i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
