I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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