pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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