Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
