I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
