2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize