i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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