What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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