every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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