I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This is the prime rib incident all over again
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
