I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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