It's like a parade of train wrecks.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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