FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
