you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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