New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize