It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
