So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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