and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
