Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
