trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
