his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
