found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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