I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
