you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
