you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
be right there i have to get my cape
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize