it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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