I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
