Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
