fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
