he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
