That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
