You work out of a Hotel?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
