Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
