I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
