you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
