Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
