It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I party with great urgency now.
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