Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
