Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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