im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
