I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Who died my cat blue again?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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