So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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