Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Houston, we have a blender
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Randomize
