I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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