Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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