I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
