"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You are a genius and a whore.
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