it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
