Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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