It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
