im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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