I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
