Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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