good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I love you.
Bad choice
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