sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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