I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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