how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
