rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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