Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize