when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
