dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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