The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i think my mom watched the whole time
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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