nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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